:: Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist :: Co-Creator Of Healing Shame Lyon-rubin method :: Creator of embodied Life Story Process::
Sheila Rubin, co-founder of The Center for Healing Shame presents Widow’s Grief Retreat Day. Join us in a daylong process to shape the future. This retreat day is about identity. Who were you then? Who are you now? It's about waking up the Inner Self.
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This in-depth workshop for advanced Healing Shame students provides a chance to practice specific techniques for working with shame so that you can be even more precise and effective in helping clients gently feel into and integrate their shame. You will gain practical experience in attuning more fully to your clients and developing and keeping a safe container so that shame can be explored delicately, without overwhelming yourself or the client.
Prerequisite: Two previous Healing Shame workshops with us.
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
Shame is perhaps the most painful of all emotions. It is at the root of both the inner critic and perfectionism. It binds with other emotions, such as anger and fear, so it is often hard to detect. Also, revealing shame can be in itself shameful. For many clients who don’t get better in therapy, shame — unacknowledged and not worked through — is the primary factor.
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6 Tuesdays, May 6 - June 10, 2025, 10 – 11:30 am Pacific Time
This six-week online consultation group will be focused on integrating into your practice the Healing Shame trainings that you have taken.
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We will focus on two new categories which have expanded the usefulness of our two diagrams for working with shame. “Withhold” has been added to the Reactions to Shame diagram and “Spiritual” to the Utilizing Realms of Experience to Create Optimal Distance from Shame diagram. These new, vital cutting-edge discoveries are ripe with meaning. We have created this one-day workshop to talk about both at length and bring them fully to life for our students.
1 Saturday: January 25, 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM Pacific Time
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Though we may develop adult bodies and think our childhood is long behind us, somewhere inside the child is still alive, deeply influencing our thoughts, words and actions. In this workshop, we will teach you how to help your clients reestablish a healthy relationship with their inner child—so that they can both listen and talk to that sensitive, creative and essential part of us.
2 Saturdays: December 7 & 14, 2024, 10 AM - 6 PM Pacific Time
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Shame is one of the most painful emotions and is often at the root of the inner critic and perfectionism. It can bind with other emotions, such as anger and fear, making it difficult to detect. Additionally, revealing shame can be inherently shameful. For many clients who do not improve in therapy, unacknowledged and unresolved shame may be the primary factor.
Friday November 22, 2024, 8 AM - 12:30 PM Pacific Time
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Shame is an embodied belief that "something is wrong with me." Because shame exists in the body as well as in the mind, it is helpful for therapists to work with shame somatically. In this workshop, you will explore how to utilize somatic techniques to connect more quickly with the client and forge a strong therapeutic alliance. You will learn how to prevent somatic counter-transference and avoid taking on the client's physical shame patterns, explore how to keep your clients more present in the room with you, and counter over-verbalization, dissociation and freezing.
2 Saturdays: November 2 & 9, 2024, 10 AM - 6 PM Pacific Time
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In many studies of the effectiveness of therapy, a strong connection between therapist and client has been noted as the clearest predictor of success. And yet our own fear and shame of doing the wrong thing can get in the way of that connection. In this workshop, you will discover powerful tools to connect with a client quickly and deeply. We will provide demonstrations to help you decide when to hold back and when to bring yourself forward, both emotionally and physically, and we will examine ways to level the playing field that shame distorts—and combine the seemingly contradictory roles of caring friend and trusted expert.
2 Saturdays: September 21 & 28, 2024, 10 AM - 6 PM Pacific Time
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I am presenting parts of my self revelatory performance at Creativity and Madness Conference in Santa Fe.
This mysterious emotion does not stop it has a life of its own I will be presenting parts of my original self revelatory performance to share in a beautiful way how I know so much about this mysterious emotion! We want to provide information to stop the munti-generational transmission of trauma and shame. Key points from our recent book Embracing Shame will be covered. There is an evolutionary purpose to shame- don’t miss this one!
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Free parking and breakfast provided
Learn and experience innovations in Drama Therapy
Choose from 18 workshops and performances
Earn NBCC, RDT, and RDT CHED CE credits
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Working with shame cognitively can only get us so far. When clients get stuck in shame, the most powerful way to help them get unstuck is to activate their imagination. In this workshop, we will utilize techniques from Drama Therapy, Focusing, Expressive Arts Therapy, Jungian active imagination processing and Hakomi to explore the critical voices and/or the childhood scenes that are still driving the internal shame dynamic in the client.
2 Saturdays: July 13 & 20, 2024, 10 AM - 6 PM Pacific Time
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Shame is designed to keep us safe by binding with the other primary emotions, lower their intensity, and keep them from completing in an action, such as grieving, reaching out, or setting a boundary. When shame binds with anger, fear, joy, curiosity, or grief, those emotions cannot finish. We get caught in a maze of feelings, with no end. In this workshop, we will learn how to help clients untangle shame from the other primary emotions so that they can complete. And we will learn techniques to untangle the binds so the client can live their life in a fuller, more productive, and more joyful way.
2 Saturdays 10am–6:00pm Pacific Time
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By popular demand, this will be our first in-person workshop in many years. It will be a chance to reconnect - or connect for the first time - in person.
Saturday and Sunday, In-person, 10am–6 pm Pacific Time
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Shame and trauma are both states of freeze. Shame, like trauma, puts the body in a freeze state and lowers the ability to think and act clearly. Shame almost always accompanies trauma—and being shamed can have a traumatic effect. In this intermediate workshop, we will explore the connection between shame and trauma and look at ways to unlock somatic and imaginal resources to work with both effectively.
Prerequisite: Open to students who have taken at least one previous Healing Shame workshop with us or have significant training in working with trauma.
4 Fridays
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The tele seminar Healing Shame will discuss how this mysterious emotion that was such a mystery to me when growing up, has over a life time transformed my life. I understand the evolutionary purpose of shame and offer suggestions on how each of us can hold the emotion a little differently. To understand the physiology of shame and not get stuck in it by shrinking and being small but to talk to it and have a relationship with it. And to begin to thrive, to have a relationship with shame so that it can work for us instead of against us.
The more we care about each other, the more vulnerable we are to shame. Intentionally or unintentionally, we poke each other in the tender spots. In this workshop we will explore the blame/shame game people in relationships can fall into and learn how to help them stop shaming each other and work together to create a secure base and heal the wounds of the past.
Open to helping professionals alone or with their partner
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
Shame is perhaps the most painful of all emotions. It is at the root of both the inner critic and perfectionism. It binds with other emotions, such as anger and fear, so that is often hard to detect. Also, revealing shame can be in itself shameful. For many clients who don’t get better in therapy, shame — unacknowledged and not worked through — is the primary factor.
2 Saturdays
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
This in-depth workshop for advanced Healing Shame students provides a chance to practice specific techniques for working with shame so that you can be even more precise and effective in helping clients gently feel into and integrate their shame. You will gain practical experience in attuning more fully to your clients and developing and keeping a safe container so that shame can be explored delicately, without overwhelming yourself or the client.
4 Fridays, 10am–1:30pm Pacific Time
Prerequisite: Two previous Healing Shame workshops with us.
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
The event will honor both the Catholic saint and the pagan Goddess Brigid/Brid in all her aspects, as an emblem of female creativity and power, with performances from incredible Irish instrumentalists, singers, and dancers, as well as song and dance from She Arose women's chorus, ritual and poetry, a demonstration of Brigid Cross and Bridie doll making, and sales of wares from local artists.
We all go through it. No one is immune. And nothing produces more universal shame in our society than aging. And it starts when we have barely begun to enjoy our adulthood. By mid-thirties, we are already beginning to experience the changes. Whereas many societies have deep respect for people as they age and see a vital role for elders, our society still worships youth. In this workshop, we will learn how to be more comfortable with our own aging process, and we will look at ways to help clients talk about, explore and heal their own shame around aging.
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Our book “Embracing Shame” is out! and comments are very positive- as being evolutionary and revolutionary in the way we teach about shame in the book. This event is live on Zoom so you can watch from anywhere you are! Please attend and please invite your friends it is free and our book can be life changing.
Though we may develop adult bodies and think our childhood is long behind us, somewhere inside the child is still alive, deeply influencing our thoughts, words and actions. In this workshop, we will teach you how to help your clients reestablish a healthy relationship with their inner child—so that they can both listen and talk to that sensitive, creative and essential part of us.
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
There is an evolutionary purpose to healing shame.
We live in challenging times. The toxic shame that has been passed down from generation to generation has erupted in many ways at this time. All that shame begins to shut us down and separate us from our feelings and desire. It not only separates us from ourselves, it separates us from each other.
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
In many studies of the effectiveness of therapy, a strong connection between therapist and client has been noted as the clearest predictor of success. And yet our own fear and shame of doing the wrong thing can get in the way of that connection. In this workshop, you will discover powerful tools to connect with a client quickly and deeply. We will provide demonstrations to help you decide when to hold back and when to bring yourself forward, both emotionally and physically, and we will examine ways to level the playing field that shame distorts—and combine the seemingly contradictory roles of caring friend and trusted expert.
Click image for more information about the workshop and to register.
While no one has an easy time with shame, and many societies don’t really want to acknowledge it, for many men it can be especially hard. Men often don't even realize that they feel shame. This workshop will help you discover and address the invisible shame in many men. You will learn how to countershame them and invite them to join you rather than fight you when shame is activated in the session.
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Whereas many societies have deep respect for people as they age and see a vital role for elders, our society still worships youth. What are we to do as we face the natural progression of losing muscle tone, hair, short term memory and many other physical and mental functions in a society that sees us as lacking if we’re not forever young? Shame is the feeling that “something is wrong with me.” How can we not feel that something is wrong with us as we undergo all these losses in the face of an indifferent and shaming society?
Every emotion has an action tendency. The action tendency of shame is to hide, vanish, disappear. Shame is designed to keep us safe by binding with the other primary emotions, lower their intensity, and keep them from completing in an action, such as grieving, reaching out, or setting a boundary. When shame binds with anger, fear, joy, curiosity, or grief, those emotions cannot finish. We get caught in a maze of feelings, with no end. When someone simply can’t get angry, or can’t finish grieving a loss, or can’t feel joyful, or can’t move forward in life, we know that shame is involved, binding with the other primary emotions in a toxic, endless stew of feelings.
I am currently available for online tele-therapy and consultations.
I enjoy working remotely with clients over Zoom during the pandemic. This work is very effective in the online format.
To book an appointment, please call my office phone.
For session and rate information, visit my Sessions page.
Office Phone: (415) 820-3974
Sheila Rubin
2930 Domingo Ave. #107
Berkeley, CA 94705
